"Sexual assault and domestic violence are difficult things to talk about. Talk about them anyway." - Mariska Hargitay
Common Misconceptions about Sexual Assault
- Sexual assault is not an act of passion that cannot be controlled. It is motivated by one party seeking to have power and control over the other and goes beyond the need of sexual gratification.
- Less than 10% of sexual assault allegations are false reports. Additionally, sexual assault is one of the most under-reported crimes in America.
- Everyone responds to trauma differently. Applying your own ideals to the victims of sexual assault only increases the stigma associated with these crimes and prevents reporting and the capture of the aggressor.
- Wearing revealing or provocative clothing and/or drinking does not imply consent to sexual contact.
- Men are also victims of sexual assault and unwanted sexual advances. These cases go largely unreported by male victims due to cultural norms surrounding masculinity, homosexuality, and gender.
- Individuals with disabilities are twice as vulnerable to sexual assault as people without disabilities.
- Most cases of sexual assault involve individuals who know each other. Co-workers, friends of family, and family members of the victim are most often the aggressors in these scenarios.
- Marriage does not exclude the need for consent.
- On average, 1 case of sexual assault occurs in the United States every 2 minutes.
How to have a conversation about Sexual Assault
- Know Your Goal: The first step is to understand what you are trying to achieve. The object of the conversation should not be to determine a 'winner' and a 'loser', but to have a conversation that is manageable and invites participation.
- Consider whether to share your personal experience: Disclosing personal information about an assault can be very tricky. While no one wants victims to feel as though they need to remain silent, spontaneous mentioning of a personal attack can derail the conversation. Have a plan for personal disclosure if you feel it will constructively add to the lesson or discussion.
- Be OK with being uncomfortable: Don't let your discomfort with this topic, or the emotions it stirs up, stop you from talking about it. Check in with your audience, talk about the feelings that come up, and continue on.
- Assume positive intent: The conversation will always go more smoothly if you give the other person the benefit of the doubt and regularly remind yourself that this is a tough topic to talk about--for everyone.
- Forgive conversational missteps: Chances are that you or other people in the conversation will say things that you regret or that you wish you'd worded differently. Instead of point out every offensive statement, let the conversation flow and forgive yourself and others for any mistakes made. If you get something wrong, you can always revisit the conversation later and apologize.